Succeeding @ Youth Sports

In his best-selling book “Outliers”, Author Malcolm Gladwell states, “10,000 hours is the magic number of greatness.” In other words, if you practice 10,000 hours, you could be great…or maybe not. According to a recent study, “Practice Does Not Necessarily Make Perfect”. Instead, “greatness” can be attributed to a variety of factors. In sports, we only have to work backwards from what’s measured at the highest levels to see that ‘practice’ is just one component in an equation that also includes technical, tactical, physical, and psychological inputs, or TTPP for short.

If your athlete goes far enough in sports, you will notice that player assessment (forms and software), elite training programs, professional player development, recruiters, academies, scouts, coach training, and more are all leveraging holistic formulas that include TTPP.

So what should the parents of a young athlete focus on?

I am not an expert. Three of our kids graduated as varsity athletes; our youngest plays club soccer at a high level; I have coached soccer for many years; and as an entrepreneur, I have invested ~2,000 hours researching venture opportunities in youth sports.

I have given a lot of thought to succeeding at youth sports: what it looks like, how to obtain it, and why we should care.

In the early years, adults are obviously part of the equation. If you (the adult) and your athlete invest 3,000 hours into youth sports you can preserve three overlapping probabilities for success (see red arrow).

High probability (big circle): your athlete will become confident, outgoing, responsible, a team player, meet long-term friends, and make a lifetime commitment to health and fitness.

Reasonable probability (medium circle): your athlete will become a varsity athlete, a collegiate athlete, participate in club sports, and perhaps coach as a parent.

Extremely low probability (small circle): your athlete will be awarded a D1 scholarship, become a pro, and/or coach professionally.

It’s unpredictable, but if you and your athlete invest 3,000 hours filling the technical, tactical, physical, and psychological [TTPP] buckets, all outcomes — however remote — are possible.

Think of the first 3,000 hours as nearly a third of the way to the 10,000 hours needed to achieve mastery. The amount of hours invested per week ramps up with age. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all schedule to follow. Some kids reach mastery by age twenty, and some need five or six additional years. Accelerated investment [in a sport] doesn’t seem to be a surefire recipe. Who hasn’t seen a fast-starter (technical) that’s either lost (tactical), repeatedly injured (physical), and/or unhappy (psychological)? All of the TTPP buckets have to be filled.

In invasion sports (e.g.: soccer, hockey, basketball, lacrosse, football, etc.) where one side is always invading or defending territory, filling the TTPP buckets includes, but is not limited to:

T- Technical: The athlete is acquiring the 1v1, handling, and scoring confidence needed to assume responsibility for predominantly enabling (when attacking) or preventing (when defending) FORWARD movement of the ball or puck; versus relying upon a teammate to do it. (Eventually, someone has to move ‘it’ forward.)

T- Tactical: The athlete is acquiring the right-place-right-time situational knowledge needed to reliably participate in, or prevent, an invasion.

P — Physical: The athlete is acquiring [experiencing] an understanding of how nutrition, rest, and age-appropriate training for strength, stamina, agility, balance, coordination, and speed are all interconnected and essential to competing and winning.

P — Psychological: The athlete is learning how to embrace failure, how to process criticism, how to live in the present, how to visualize success, that succeeding in sports requires a ‘marathoner’ not a ‘sprinter’, and that the [bucket filling] journey…is the reward. Link

Google “technical tactical physical psychological” to learn more.

Note: Experts strongly suggest that kids “should not take part in organized sports activities for more hours per week than their age. For example: a twelve-year-old athlete should not participate in more than twelve hours per week of organized sport.”

The psychological bucket — the smiles bucket — is the hardest to fill. Motivating a child to happily invest 3,000 hours is the most formidable job in youth sports. Most kids quit before they become teenagers. Eventually, everyone has to self-motivate, but until early adulthood, parents and coaches play a big role in filling and [unfortunately] draining the smiles bucket.

The graphic above depicts a scenario that is all too common: technical, tactical, and physical buckets are filling, while the psychological bucket is empty…and your athlete wants to quit. How come? There’s a parent that thinks he’s building a pro, or a coach that thinks she’s launching a career, and one or both of them are fun crushing zombies.

Fun has to be the organizing idea…full stop/period. It’s amazing how many parents fail to put a foundation of fun under their athlete’s entire youth sports experience. It’s certainly not easy to position, plan, and execute every action and activity as fun. Nevertheless, everything and anything, including your advice, coaching, prodding, and feedback that’s not underpinned with an intention to fill the smiles bucket…drains it. I’ve done this. We all do it. This is easy to fix.

Begin by teaching your athlete what future fun looks like…and how to earn it.

Humans are transactional. I do X, and then I get Y. (I go to the dentist; I get a toy.) As kids and parents transact, a fun-trust account either fills or depletes. Parents create a fun-trust surplus when they consistently and reliably deliver the fun/joy/happiness they promised or implied. With a fun-trust surplus, it’s easier to pitch complex transactions that include [distant] future gratification.

In other words, parents dedicated to delivering fun in the early years and judiciously thereafter will succeed at pitching hard work, practice, patience, perseverance, and even setbacks as pathways to future fun. Conversely, no-fun parents with fun-trust deficits can’t make the same pitch. Everything about sports can be positioned and organized as either fun or as a pathway to fun.

Note: Competency builds confidence. The only way to build competency is to keep playing. The only way to keep them playing is to keep it fun. Until it’s a job, kids PLAY sports. Suggested Ted Talk

Along the way to 3,000 hours, you will see amazing young athletes that have incredible technical skills and/or advanced physical capabilities; they will seem so talented and so advanced that you may be tempted to drop out of the race. Don’t. Bigger, faster, stronger, or two years of extra experience are not reliable markers for future success. In fact, if anyone in the world could reliably predict which athletes at twelve will be successful at twenty-two, they would be wildly wealthy. Early selection is a myth; late bloomers are common; and all of the TTPP buckets have to be filled.

If you are a competitive person that’s wondering at this point, how to win, how to beat the system, and how to arrive at the end of the journey on top. Here are two observations:

First, ‘winners’ seem to simply win the war of attrition. As noted above, most kids quit, including most of the ‘future hall-of-famers’ that have been identified early on by so-called ‘experts’. Every athlete that plays a sport for fifteen to twenty years wins.

Second, overachievers have one thing in common: they’re smart and deliberate goal setters.

So, here’s my formula: During the first 3,000 hours, preserve all of your athlete’s options by filling all four of the TTPP buckets; always make it fun; ignore all the hype pertaining to young superstars…even when they’re yours; and guide the entire process via goals that are great, granular, gritty, and guided.

Goals — Activities and actions are undertaken with SMART goals in mind. Goals are essential. Work with your athlete to set weekly, monthly, season, and longer-term goals. Every two weeks, take ten minutes to review progress.

Great — Activities and actions are intended to be [great] fun, or a pathway to future fun. Especially in the early years, if it’s not fun, you’re draining the smiles bucket.

Granular — Deconstruct big picture goals such as ‘get better’ or ‘score more’ into granular goals (and routines) that add up to something bigger. Granular example: three times a week, kick with my left foot, from the right side of a small target that is twenty feet away, and strike the target ten times out of one-hundred attempts; adjust upward as the goal is met.

Grit — Choose activities and actions where initial failure is probable, a bit of agony is inevitable, and hard work is required; doing so builds grit. A good example of the intersection of grit and fun is when kids compete against older siblings.

Guided — Use highly qualified coaches and instructors to make granular adjustments, and to obtain continuous advice and feedback. (Parents are rarely qualified to do this.)

Coaching The Cross

Last week, you put seven kids on the field, and three of them were your most experienced players, but the other team’s demoralizing attack overwhelmed your defense and scored at will. Chances are, the other team was coached to cross the ball to score, and they were coached on how to defeat the cross on the defensive end of the field.

This post covers how to use the flashcards to teach scoring via ‘the cross’, and how to defeat ‘the cross’. There are certainly other winning strategies, but this one is easy to teach and easy to execute.

To begin, your team will need to understand coverage area responsibility. Once everyone understands coverage area responsibility, coaching the cross (attacking with / defending against) is simply a matter of emphasizing the flashcards listed below.

Cross to score: In a competitive 7v7 match, even your strongest players will not be able to drive the ball up the middle and through multiple defenders. Instead, coach your team to score by crossing the ball in front of the opponent’s net. Use the following flashcards to emphasize that your team is a cross-to-score team first, and not a team of superheroes:

• ATM - Avoid The Middle. When driving the ball toward the opponent’s end of the field, don't play through the middle (that’s where everyone will be). Drive the ball to the corners and cross it!

• SGS - Superheroes Get Stuffed. Superheroes that try to drive the ball through multiple defenders always get stuffed. Don’t get stuffed. Play to the corners and cross the ball to your teammate.

• AT! - Attack Together! Don’t be left behind! Every attacker should be moving forward as fast as the attacker with the ball.

As a point of emphasis, I ask the team: “Who’s faster, the player moving the ball up the field, or the player sprinting up the field without the ball?” Kids answer: “The player sprinting up the field.” My response (with a smile): “Then why are you all ten yards behind the player with ball? Attack Together Please!

Defeating the cross: Kids are hardwired to chase the ball (like cats chasing toys); defeating the cross involves deprogramming this behavior. Defenders have to be repeatedly reminded to stay on their side of the field. The Right Defender should NEVER be in the Left Defender’s area of responsibility, and vice-a-versa.

• PYP - Play Your Position. Don’t run all over the field, you will be exhausted by halftime. Focus on dominating your portion of the field. Don’t be crossing from left to right, or right to left. Stay on your side of the field.

• DTC - Defeat The Cross. Good teams know how to cross and score. The Left Defender must cover the left side of the box, and the Right Defender must cover the right side of the box. Stay on your side. PYP.

Related notes: Highly skilled players (the best players on the team) will try to play through the middle, they will get stuffed, and they will be reluctant to settle on an assist via a cross...especially when mom or dad is counting goals. Two bits of advice:

• Inform parents that you are a cross-to-score team first; that playing through the middle, taking too many touches, and getting stuffed is frowned upon.

• Inform your superstar scorers that if they take turns, work together, and cross-to-score, the Left Wing and the Right Wing will BOTH get a chance to score.

In some game situations (e.g.: when the score is lopsided), give maturing players opportunities to score by instructing advanced players to cross the ball to a maturing player. Coach maturing players to UTF (Use The Force) when receiving a crossing pass.

• UTF - Use The Force. NO WILD KICKING. Settle, inhale, look, exhale, kick.

Practicing the cross: Use half of a 7v7 field to set up a drill where three attackers (left, center, right) challenge two defenders (left, right) and a goalie.

• Use cones to divide the field vertically (between left and right).

• Instruct the defenders to NEVER cross the dividing cone line.

• Attackers begin at midfield.

• Instruct the attackers that they can only score on a cross that comes from one side of the box or the other.

• Set up two cones at midfield that the defenders can use as a small exit goal.

• Scrimmage until a score, or until the ball goes out of bounds.

• Cycle attackers and defenders until everyone has played both positions (attacker and defender) at least three times.  

• Use the flashcards to remind defenders and attackers about key points of play. For example, DDI - Don’t Dive In for defenders.

7v7 Soccer Field Strategy

Note: I realize the terms “sweeper” and “stopper” used below may seem dated to some. Nevertheless, the 7v7 strategies remain valid.

Field strategies are most effective when the coach spends fifteen minutes at a full-field practice outlining (with cones) and placing every player in a rectangle that covers each overlapping position. Showing kids their entire area (their rectangle) of responsibility prior to a game helps you to set an expectation for attacking and defending (by position) during a game. Move the ball (by hand) all around the field and ask every player to move to the place in their coverage rectangle where you expect them to be as the ball moves around the field.

Pertaining to field strategy, the most important flashcard is ABM (Always Be Moving). Soccer is a sport where players rarely stand still. Coach your players to Alway Be Moving to the best place in their coverage area to receive or to intercept a pass. With a smile and a big voice, I tell players "If you're standing still, you're probably doing something wrong; there's always a smarter place to be."

Field strategies have to be somewhat dynamic. Against a weaker opponent, your entire team will unconsciously press up and attack, and against a strong opponent, your entire team will retreat into a defensive stance. Try teaching the concept of 'shape'. When I ask players to Hold Your Shape (HYS), I tell them that no matter how small the field gets, as everyone converges toward the net (on either end), trust your teammates, hold the basic shape of the formation, and then quickly return to your assigned coverage area as the field re-expands.

Here are some suggestions for positioning your players on the field during a game.

Definitions

• Maturing Players: kick without thinking and struggle with passing.

• Skill Players: the strongest players on the team.

• Stopper: whenever possible, stops the ball at midfield / overlaps with the sweeper.

• Sweeper: sweeps the ball away from the net; when under pressure, ejects the ball from the field.

Suggestions 

• Place maturing players into positions where they can succeed. We often put maturing players where they are either 1) sandwiched between two skill players, or 2) on the wing positions, and 3) rarely on defense unless they are highly capable of clearing the ball up the sidelines and/or with smartly ejecting the ball out of the field of play.

• During practice, use cones to show the entire size and shape of each area of responsibility.

• On the diagrams below, areas of responsibility overlap; make sure to remind players of their overlapping responsibilities.

Priority Defense

This is a great formation to use when you feel that your team might be overwhelmed by an opponent. In this formation, defensive players rarely cross midfield, and the center’s primary responsibility is defense. When the center does move up to attack, you also need at least one wing that can score.

Priority Offense

This is a great, aggressive formation for teams that have more skill players than maturing players. Place your strongest skill players on defense and allow them to play up and attack like midfielders. Put the least developed player into the sweeper position, but behind a solid stopper.

Priority Center

For when you only have 2-3 skill players available.

Notice the five positions stacked in the middle.

The center is the most important player on the field.

The sweeper is the second strongest player on the field, and the primary defender.

Maturing players are sandwiched between skill players.

If you have a third skill player, place him or her at striker.

The 2-2-2

The 2-2-2 is probably the most common 7v7 positioning strategy.

Pros: easy to teach, and easy for the kids to move the ball up the field vertically.

Cons: without the center players (center-mid, stopper, striker, or sweeper) used in the formations above, passing triangles are less likely to form, and triangles lead to controlling possession and to more scoring opportunities.

Coaching Coverage Areas

Right Wing coverage area shown above.

When you coach/teach ‘coverage areas’, you will be giving your players a far better spatial sense of individual responsibility, including stamina requirements, across every position.

Every position has a coverage area of responsibility. We simply call these areas ‘coverage areas’. Most coverage areas resemble large, overlapping squares or rectangles.

Players are responsible for all of the attacking and defending within their coverage area.

“If you are not attacking, you are defending. If you are not defending, you are attacking. There is no third option.”

Suggested steps for coaching/teaching coverage areas:

• For at least one practice, reserve an entire 7v7 field.

• Prior to the practice, choose a field strategy that will complement the strengths of your team. Coverage areas for every position are delineated on the field strategy diagrams.

• Hint: prior to beginning this exercise, let the kids scrimmage to burn off some energy.

• Use cones to outline every overlapping coverage area on the field. You may need up to twenty minutes (prior to practice) to strategically place the cones.

• Put at least one player into every coverage area.

• With the ball in your hands, quickly move around the field while asking every player on the field to rapidly move to the best place within his or her coverage area to be.

• Example: If you are in the far right corner of the attacking end of the field, every player should have moved to a place within their area of responsibility that is as close to you as possible. The Right Wing should be standing next to you.

• This is a great time to stress ABM (Always Be Moving) to the best place in your coverage area to receive or to intercept a pass...no matter where the ball is on the field.

• With a smile, I tell players “If you are standing still, you are probably doing something wrong. Always Be Moving.”

• Review, correct, and repeat until everyone understands where to be in each coverage area...no matter where the ball is on the field.

• With the coverage area cones still on the field, and at your water break, using a dry erase board, relate the board to the field size, to your selected field strategy (drawn on the board), and to every overlapping coverage area on the field. If you do this while the cones are on the field, coaching with a dry erase board during games will be far more effective.

• With the coverage area cones still on the field, restart the scrimmage.

• Place yourself within the scrimmage and repeatedly communicate your on-field expectations (e.g.: Always Be Moving).

• Pertaining to this exercise [coverage areas] use the flashcards listed below [as reminders] to set your on-field expectations.

• And coach...ABS - Always Be Smiling :)

Recommended Coverage Area Flashcards / Concepts to repeatedly stress while you’re on the field during the exercise described above:

ABM - Always Be Moving. Every player needs to understand that even if he or she does not possess the ball, he or she must Always Be Moving [ABM] to the best place to receive or to intercept a pass (within their coverage area).

CES - Create Elephant Space. “When we go on attack, instantly create and maintain elephant space between you and the closest defender.” Elephant spaces are big enough for...an elephant to walk through.

PYP - Play Your Position. “Trust your teammates. Stay out of their coverage areas. If you're covering your teammate’s area, who’s covering yours? Please play your position!”

DNL - Defend Never Land. “If the ball is in Neverland, alarm bells should be going off! Instantly move into or toward Neverland! Everyone works together to drive the ball out of neverland! Defend Never Land as if invaders are coming to [use your imagination].” The younger kids love the concept of defending Neverland!

CYA - Cover Your Attackers. When the other team has possession, no matter where the ball is on the field, cover the attackers that are in your coverage area. Play Your Position (PYP), Cover Your Attackers (CYA), and get ready to intercept a pass.

Select other flashcards to use as coaching reminders during this exercise.

Youth Soccer Flash Cards

I coached ~ten seasons of youth soccer. I created the flashcards below for nine-year-olds. However, I have found that most of the cards can be used with older kids.

The Flashcards serve three purposes:

• They remind me, as the coach, of the three to five things I want to emphasize each week.

• Kids readily, easily, and eagerly buy into the method of using three letters (ABM, ABT, UBG, etc.) to learn and to receive continuous coaching.

• Parents can use the flashcards to emphasize what's important to the team.

There are four flashcard categories:

1. The Ultimate Soccer Player

2. Success Tips

3. Attacking Tips

4. Defending Tips

5. Keeper Tips

Here are all of the flashcards below on Google Docs.

The Ultimate Soccer Player

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Always Be Smiling

We are here to have fun!

Smiles are infectious! Smile for your teammates, for your coaches, and at your opponents.

Always Be Talking

Be a field general!

Always let your teammates know your intentions by calling out plays and/or by asking for the ball.

Always Be Moving

If you are standing still, you are probably doing something wrong 😀 Always be moving FAST to the best space on the field to receive or to intercept a pass.

Always Be Practicing

Jump rope, dribble, juggle, and shoot every day. Use your weak foot more than your strong. Stay fit and strong all year long.

Success Tips

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Use The Force

NO WILD KICKING

settle, inhale, look, exhale, kick

Play Your Position

Don’t run all over the field, you will be exhausted by halftime. Focus on dominating your portion of the field. Don’t be crossing from left to right, or right to left. Stay on your side of the field.

Use Ball Gravity

When you control the ball, sometimes it makes sense to MAKE the opponent come to you. This is called “using ball gravity” to pull the opponent into a weaker field position.

Win Every Throw-In

Everyone moves fast toward the throw-in area, and then we make smart throws fast! When defending, we cover our opponents like a WET blanket.

No Field Drama

If you are hurt, stay down! If you are frustrated or mad at yourself for making a mistake, get up, smile, and find the best space on the field to be. No pounding the ground. Your team needs you!

Always Be Moving

Players are assigned a position; each position has a coverage area* (Right Wing shown in green); players are coached to always be moving (ABM) within their coverage area.

We measure motivation by observing what happens before and after touching the ball. We tell players to NEVER touch and stop; when the ball is in your coverage area, repeatedly go after it; or rapidly go to the best place in your coverage area to receive or to intercept a pass.

*Depending on skill, speed, and stamina, we let players ‘lengthen’ their coverage areas.

Hold Your Shape

Every formation has a shape. As the ball moves up and down the field, the formation should hold its shape. Even when everyone is packed near the box, the formation should hold its shape!

Attacking Tips

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Create Elephant Space

On attack, Always Be Moving (ABM) to Create Elephant Spaces (CES) between you and every defender. Elephant spaces are big enough for an elephant to walk through!

Avoid The Middle

When driving the ball toward the opponents end of the field, don't play through the middle (that’s where everyone will be). Drive the ball to the corners and cross it!

Superheroes Get Stuffed!

Superheroes that try to drive the ball through multiple defenders always get stuffed. Don’t get stuffed. Play to the corners and cross the ball to your teammate.

Attack Together!

Don’t be left behind! Every attacker should be moving forward as fast as the attacker with the ball.

Follow Your Shot

Don’t stop after shooting on goal. Follow your shot all the way to the goalie.

Flip The Field

Attackers with the ball always attract traffic. If you have elephant space, sometimes the best decision is to kick the ball to the opposite side of the field.

Defending Tips

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Show A Shoulder

When approaching an attacker that has the ball, show your right shoulder to steer the attacker left. Show your left shoulder to steer the attacker right.

Don’t Dive In

First, use the shape and position of your body to force the attacker into the weakest possible position…then go for the ball.

Watch this video on YouTube.

Cover Your Attacker

If we are not attacking, we are ALL defending! If the other team has possession of the ball, everyone’s job is to cover any attacker that is in their coverage area.

Defeat The Cross

Good teams know how to cross and score. The Left Defender must cover the left side of the box, and the Right Defender must cover the right side of the box. Stay on your side. PYP.

Defend Never Land

Never Land is the shaded area that surrounds our goal and the penalty area, and extends all the way to midfield.

Everyone defends Never Land, including offense! We control Never Land.

Unless you have Elephant Space, don’t pass or ask for a pass in Never Land. Drive the ball out of Never Land.

Move the ball out of Never Land and up the sidelines (see direction of arrows).

If the ball reaches the purple shaded area near our net, you are to EJECT the ball from the field of play on your first touch.

Keeper Tips

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Empty Your Head

Goals and mistakes happen. The best keepers have short memories. You have less than sixty seconds to recover. Breathe, smile, and get ready for the next attack.

Keeper Ready Position

Come three steps out of the net. Use the goal posts at the opposite end of the field to align yourself. Bend your knees. Get up on your toes. Put your arms, hands, and fingers down. Turn your palms toward the attacker with the ball.

Watch this YouTube video.

Keeper Radar On

As an attacker with the ball approaches, get into the Keeper Ready Position. Your chest is now a tracking radar. Angle your body and quickly shuffle from left to right (without crossing your feet) so that your chest is always centered on the potential path of the ball.

Watch this YouTube video.

Attack The Floaters

Don't wait. If the ball is floating toward you, jump through oncoming attackers and toward the ball with one knee in the air. Yell "keeper" loudly! Use your hands to scoop the ball into your waist.

Watch this YouTube video.

Knock Down Rockets

If you try to catch a rocket shot, it will go right through your hands. Knock down or punch away rockets instead.

Be A Monster

You are the monster of your box. You're hungry. The ball is your lunch. Attackers are your desert. Don't hesitate. Yell like a monster. Pick up the ball before an attacker can get to it.

Avoid The Middle

Avoid the middle dude. There's hardly ever a good reason to punt, throw, kick, or roll the ball into the middle of your team's side of the field.

Roll The Ball

Unless you can kick the ball like a guided missile, on goal kicks, roll the ball to one of your defenders instead. Don't turn over the ball by punting it to the other team.

Crush Corner Kicks

On corner kicks, stand at the goal post that is furthest away from the corner kick (the back post); this way you can charge forward to Attack The Floaters (ATF). Have one of your defenders cover the post nearest to the corner kick.

Organize Your Defenders

Don't let your defenders daydream. Confidently guide your defenders into positions where they can help you to Defend Never Land (DNL), Defeat The Cross (DTC), and Crush Corner Kicks (CCK).

Slow Motion Option

Once you have control of the ball, sometimes the best decision is to move slowly enough to let your team recover and get ready to attack. At other times, the best decision is to move quickly enough to take advantage of an unorganized opponent. In all cases Organize Your Defenders (OYD) first.

Kick The Pass

Don't forget, when your teammate passes the ball back to you, you can't pick it up. You have to kick the ball first.

Getting The Most Out Of Youth Soccer

We are a soccer family. I coach and all of our children play or played soccer. Our daughter captained her varsity team. Our twin boys play varsity, and they are also seasoned referees. Our youngest son plays for a local club team. And together, we have spent thousands of hours on and around soccer fields across the country.

When it comes to vacation, forget the ocean, we have so much fun with soccer that we only rent properties that are close to soccer fields. Weird huh? It wasn’t always like this. My wife and I didn’t even play organized sports. Twenty years ago, being a ‘soccer cult’, as my daughter calls us, was decidedly not part of the family vision. However, the benefits and the positive experiences kept piling up, including:

• making great friends with like-minded families

• having the kids away from the screen and running on the field

• having undistracted teaching opportunities in the car

• having the opportunity to demonstrate organization and leadership through coaching

• experiencing success through teamwork

• learning how to overcome failures and weaknesses

• having the opportunity to relate sports to the challenges of life

• having fun traveling, coaching, playing, and competing

• having a great first job as a referee

• learning about dedication and keeping commitments

We aren't the only ones that wear out tires driving to soccer events. In fact, the families we know that have had twenty plus years of healthy fun together while seemingly raising great kids, are also...dedicated soccer nuts.

If creating a family soccer cult, or perhaps something a bit short of this, sounds more fun than strange, here are some do’s and don’ts that we learned along the way:

Do make it JOB ONE to get your son or daughter to come back next season. This has to be the hardest job in youth sports, as most parents seem to be struggling with it.

Do make it all about fun. Kids only want to play if they are having fun. It’s not easy to find the fun side of inconsistent coaching, bad weather, overwhelming competition, and/or other uncontrollable things and events. However, it’s imperative that you always find a way to inject a bit of fun into each experience. It could be in the car, after practice, after a game, and/or with a new friend from the team. Always find a way to add a spoonful of fun.

Don’t share your [youth soccer related] disappointments, anxieties, criticisms, or negative thoughts in front of the kids. If you are not having fun, your child won’t either.

Don’t compare and measure. I can almost guarantee it: if you get your child to come back season after season, and year after year, your athlete will catch and/or surpass every eight-year old superstar you see on the field today.

Do praise and reward hard work. It’s fun to be recognized for working hard.

Don’t worry about A, B, and C team placements. By sixteen, the kids that participated annually are all friends, and most of them are on the same team by this age anyway.

Don’t undervalue attitude, smiles, and politeness. I have seen plenty of kids get a leg up simply based upon personality. When everyone is having fun, all this is easier.

Don’t think everyone deserves a trophy. Winning is way more fun than losing, and the kids know it. However, waffles after a loss and some praise for working hard is also fun.

Don’t coach unless you're the coach. Coaching contradictions, out-loud criticism, and endless coaching is no fun for anyone. Exchange polite emails with the coach about coaching.

Do teach work ethic and character. The funnest kids to coach are the kids that have already learned the value of hard work, teamwork, dedication, and politeness. These kids seem to succeed just by showing up.

Do consider becoming a coach. If you don’t coach your kid, someone else will. When I coach my kids, I double the fun!

Do think long-term. Every kid has a different trajectory. There are countless stories about pro athletes that did not succeed until later in life. Prepare for a long and fun journey together.

Do what most Olympic athletes do and participate in multiple sports, and/or make sure your athlete is training the opposing muscle groups that are not frequently used in soccer.

Don't try to build a lottery ticket. You can't turn your child into a pro, a D1 athlete, or a varsity superstar with extra, extra, stuff. Unless it's all done in the name of fun, the only thing you will accomplish by age fourteen...is burnout.

Don’t let anyone tell you that there’s too much emphasis on fun in this post. Stick to being the chauffeur and the master of fun, and you will succeed at creating your own tribe of dedicated soccer nuts :)